This is the bittersweet misery beloved by what used to be.
The windshield is greater than the rear view. This is so for a reason. Rear view recollections causing momentary visual impairment to what is forthcoming. This can cause collision. This may cause setback. This will result in lessons learned and newly-founded appreciation. This will reveal the reflection…of you.
To be a witness of what was not bestowed upon me unravels the deepest of emotions known to [wo]man. For it is not what makes a flame ignite, but makes a soul quiver. It has potential to shatter each quadrant of the heart with only a single breath taken. It fuels doubt, both self and oppositional. It hinders confidence to the point of mere darkness.
To come undone permanently, under the pressures of you…means that I have not gained one lesson. Though ephemeral…ephemeral means that I am still human.
The happiness that lies within your life is music to my ears, yet and still it’s the sun in my eyes. Wanting to bathe and bask in the sun though it’s just too difficult to remain attentive. For this, I look away. For this, I shade my sight of you. For this, I travel far away even if only for a night or two.
With distance I can breathe again. My airways are clear and roadways are widely open. My heart has normal rhythm. I’m back on road and my mind is simply hoping, that the wide screen of the windshield will deter me from the rear. The promising vision of what’s beyond, it’s not a mirage and goddamn I’m nearly there.
This is to you…
This is too you…
This is for me…